Past Tense
- John & Stephanie Butler
- Dec 6, 2025
- 5 min read
As we are coming into the last month of the year, I have a tendency (and maybe you do also) to look back over the year. I appreciate the technological advances I’ve seen during my lifetime. For instance, Google Photos, without fail, will send me a highlight reel of the year. It’s always enjoyable for me to look through photos from earlier in the year, and see things that, in the grand scheme of things, might have seemed insignificant at the time — but now, with the benefit of hindsight, turned out to be moments that became high points in the year.
I once heard someone say, “Go through the photos on your phone at the end of the year. They’ll tell a story you may have forgotten.” It’s true. The things we thought were important enough to capture often reveal what really mattered to us.
For me, those moments include our goofy Saint Bernard rescue, Rolen… the beauty of things growing in my summer garden… and celebrating John’s 60th birthday in the Hawaiian Islands. Once again, I look back at the year with such overwhelming gratitude to God for all He has done for us.
Looking Back Further
It wasn’t that long ago that I was a single parent, days before Christmas, without a lot of money, trying to make sure my two boys — who never had demanding expectations — still had happy childhood memories. I wanted them to feel joy, not lack.
And if I go back even further, I remember being a young military spouse, before the days of cell phones and FaceTime, trying to help my little boy understand why daddy wasn’t there. I wanted him to know he was loved so much that physical distance didn’t change a thing.
Back further? Okay — I was a little girl in a home where the appearance of perfection mattered more than the health of the family. The Christmas tree had to be just right. The Christmas Eve pajamas had to coordinate. Everything needed to look picture-perfect so my mom could show off our holiday photos — even though beneath the surface, our family was broken and hurting.
During this season, I’m often pulled back into memories like these. A movie might bring them up, or a Christmas carol we used to play. But now, I don’t think of them from a place of pain, offense, or unforgiveness — but from compassion. I’ve made enough questionable choices (and just flat-out bad ones) in my own life to understand people act from their own wounds.
I used to look back with blame — at my parents, my circumstances, even myself. "Why didn’t they…?” “If only they had…” But life has a way of teaching you, if you’re willing to pay attention.
There was a time when “reliving” the past felt stressful. I was grouchy, tense, and determined to make things “just so” for the holidays — unintentionally passing that stress to everyone else.
How did I move from looking back with regret to looking back with understanding?
Jesus
In my life, I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I’ve had moments of horrible behavior. Yet Jesus loves me anyway. He forgave me and tells me I am loved so much that He sacrificed His life for me. This love, understanding and compassion gives me a capacity to do the same for others. How can I hold others to a higher standard that I have held myself? How can I expect perfection, and no mistakes or bad decisions, when I have done the very same things. This is a season to look at the past not with being upset and tense, but with forgiveness, and understanding.
Why Christmas Still Captures My Heart
December has always been my favorite month — not only because it’s my birthday (hello 60!) but because of Christmas itself.
As a child, I wasn’t raised reading the Bible or talking openly about Jesus. But I fell in love with Christmas movies. And unlike today, in the late 1960s and early 1970s, the name of Jesus showing up in children’s programming wasn’t seen as negative or controversial.
In A Charlie Brown Christmas, one of my favorite scenes is when Charlie Brown, frustrated, shouts, “Does anyone know the real meaning of Christmas?” And without hesitation, Linus steps forward and recites Luke 2:8–14 from the King James Bible from the book of Luke, chapter 2 verses 8-14
"8 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. 9 And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. 10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. 11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. 12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, 14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."
As You Look Back at Your Year
As we move from looking backward to reflecting on where we are and where we’re going, we here at The Butler’s Pantry pray that you, too, can look back at your year with smiles and gladness.
And if this year has been hard —if you feel like you’re in a pit of despair —fear not. There is good news and hope.
Jesus sees you. He sees the things that have happened to you at the hands of others, and the things that have weighed on you because of your own choices. He understands pain — not as an idea, but because He lived it, felt it, and carried it. He hears you. His greatest desire is for you to bring these things to Him, so He can lift them from your shoulders.
In an increasingly divided world that tells us we can only trust people who look, think, or speak like we do, Jesus stands apart. He says He loves you. He says you are not alone.
We pray that when you look back, you don’t see only pain, regret, shame, or fear — you can hand all of those things over to Jesus and allow him to heal all the places that you thought were too painful and broken for anyone to repair. He is a healer, and he loves you. You are never alone.
As always friends, be well-fed.
John & Stephanie
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